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Guilt and Your Higher Self

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Picture this. You’ve been putting in the hours after work to complete a training programme that will boost your employment skills and opportunities. You’ve passed with flying colours and through word of mouth are interviewed and offered your dream job. You feel like you are in alignment with everything you wanted a few years ago.

Your colleagues aren’t moving along in their careers as quickly as they would like to. They have been turned down for promotions they’ve applied for. They feel stuck as their lives have hit pause and have lost the motivation and momentum to make changes.

You want to shout from the roof tops and celebrate yourself for your hard work, but it doesn’t feel right. Something is holding you back. Then you realise what it is.

Guilt.

Guilt that your life is moving in the direction you want it to. Guilt that you have opportunities coming your way. Guilt that things seem easy for you. Guilt that your celebrations could be taken for boasting about how good your life is.

Does any of that sound familiar?


I remember when I started my second round of self-development. The concept of my Higher Self was very much at the forefront of my mind. Who was she? What did she enjoy? What was the life she was leading me towards? I had decided that I would let myself be guided to the life my Higher Self was already living.

Then my life started to look up. I started to get great job opportunities. I started to meet people who had similar visions for their lives. I started to distance myself from people who no longer aligned with my future and were holding me back. I started to spend money investing in myself rather than in nights at the local pub.

There was a part of me that wanted to shout from the rooftops about how great I was feeling and how amazing my life felt. But seeing friends and family around me struggling, feeling unhappy, feeling stuck and generally not enjoying their lives made me feel guilty that I was having a great time. I felt guilty that I was the one getting the opportunities yet others were fighting to even find a job.

My guilt kept me from celebrating myself. My guilt kept me quiet.

Guilt is not good for us. It can bring down our self esteem and self worth. It can feel like a burden and weigh us down and drain our energy. If we let guilt fester for too long, it can lead to depression. Guilt is the discomfort we feel when we believe ourselves to be responsible for something that has or hasn’t happened.

When I finally started choosing myself in my life I started to say no to things that didn’t feel aligned to the life I wanted to live. One of these was spending less time socialising and drinking with work colleagues. There were times when events were cancelled because there were only a few of us going and once I said no, they were re-arranged or forgotten about. That’s not to say I was the life and soul of the party but I seemed to give the rest of the group a permission slip into saying no too. There were times I felt guilty about this because I knew there were people who had arranged childcare or a ‘pass’ from their relationship in order to go out. And their plans had been ruined.

I had occasions when I was too ill to work and because I had started to take better care of myself, I decided to call in sick to work rather than soldier through like a martyr. I’d done it plenty of times before, gone to work so that I wouldn’t be the person talked about letting the team down. But when I saw people being made redundant and that there was never any thanks for coming into work on your deathbed, I started to do what my Higher Self would do - call in sick and take care of myself. And yes there were times I felt guilty because I knew that other colleagues would have to pick up the slack while I was absent.

So how do we get over this guilt and continue working towards our Higher Self?

1. When the feeling of guilt arises, ask yourself whether this is truly within your control

Feeling responsible for what happens for others is not going to help you. You have taken responsibility for your life by working towards the things your Higher Self is guiding you to. Just as you have taken responsibility, so must the other person.

What happens in their lives is not because of what you are doing and achieving (unless you really do have a part to play!)

2. What is the guilt pointing towards?

Do you have imposter syndrome? Are you feeling unworthy of reaching a goal or receiving an opportunity?


Sometimes thinking we shouldn’t have it as easy as we do can make us feel guilty for living the life of our Higher Self.

These limiting beliefs need to be looked at. Because you are worthy of that job opportunity. You do deserve the job promotion. It’s okay for life to be easy. You don’t have to struggle. And you definitely don’t have to feel guilty for it.

3. Acknowledge that you feel guilty

Rather than shaming yourself or trying to suppress the feelings of guilt, allow yourself to feel what you need to feel.


It’s okay to feel guilty. It’s not okay to let your feelings of guilt stop you living the life you want. Forgive yourself for feeling guilty - it is a human emotion after all and natural.

4. Express your feelings

If it feels beneficial to do so, share how you feel with someone who is supportive and non-judgemental.

Keeping our feelings bottled up only lets them fester and cause us more angst. Having a safe space to express how you feel will alleviate this.


5. Take action/Let go

Your Higher Self wants you to live the life of your dreams. She doesn’t want you to be stuck in situations that are not moving you towards greater alignment. If guilt is holding you back, it’s time to think about how to either let go of it, or take action towards releasing it.

When our lives start to take a turn for the better, we can gain unwarranted attention from others. Especially jealousy. Others want to know how you’re doing what you’re doing. Others want to know how your life is looking up all of a sudden. They may not have your best interests at heart and be looking to cause you to feel guilty for this great life you’re now living.

The key is to stick to your own path to align with your Higher Self. If you notice the feelings of guilt creeping back in, take a step back and return to the suggestions above.

If you would like support in releasing guilt and continuing the journey to your Higher Self, feel free to book a consultation call with me. You can do that here.


Much love,

Harmesch x

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